I read an Instagram post by Fulem Molombi about 2020 being the year we learned and 2021 the year we apply. I have to agree with that. After experiencing a year like 2020, most of us have come away with a few lessons. I have definitely learnt a few things about myself and what matters to me. For one, life is an unpredictable place where both tragedy and joy can strike unexpectedly. Therefore it is important to make use of the time we have right now and spend that time living a life that is aligned with our values. From those insights and time spent reflecting, here are 5 things I will do differently this year.
Network: creating and building connections
One thing I know is that time is a finite resource that will run out at some point. It is a matter of whose time runs out first. Sounds a bit morbid but it is a fact of life. Therefore, I am allocating more of my time to connect with the people in my life.
I have always been very driven and focused on my goals, nothing is wrong with that, but it means I tend to neglect the people in my life. I suck at keeping in contact and reaching out. However, that is not a good enough excuse. After all, we make time for the things and people that are important to us. I want to show them how much their relationship means to me and that they are a priority in my life. This also means letting go of the people who no longer prioritise me.
Extending from that point, ensuring that your relationships are healthy and non-toxic is also necessary. The people who you surround yourself with should be a reflection of your values. They should be helping pull you up instead of bringing you down. You should feel supported by them and you should also support them.
Ask for help, there is no shame in it.
I am the type of person to keep my problems to myself and make sure everyone else is okay. I dislike confrontations and making myself vulnerable. As a result, I do not open up as much as I would like, especially face-to-face. It is somehow easier to bare my soul when I do not have to look at your face and that includes asking for help.
It is good to be independent and self-reliant but being interdependent is the true goal. As the saying goes, no man is an island. It is important to remember that we are all good at something but no one person is good at everything. Therefore asking for help when we come across something that we either don’t find interesting or simply don’t understand is the logical solution. However, we find this task difficult because we afraid to appear incompetent, inferior or be vulnerable. Instead of thinking of it as a weakness, we should take it as an opportunity. A chance not only to save yourself from the unnecessary stress of trying to figure out the task but a chance to allow someone to perform a task they enjoy. As a result, you both benefit from you reaching out.
Make time for play and joyful activities
As you probably know by now, reading has been one of my number one hobbies since I was a child. You probably also know how time consuming and hectic adulting can be, leaving us scrambling for time to complete our daily household tasks, fulfil our professional obligations while also making time for self-care, family and play. Even though finding the right balance can be difficult, with the right steps we can make time for all that we value. But that’s for another conversation. This year I am committed to making time for the things that simply make me happy.
I want to get in touch with that inner child who did things because it was fun. It was not about the outcome, the learning experience or being productive, simply for pleasure and entertainment. Don’t you miss that kid that climbed trees for the sake of climbing, who read because she was excited about a new adventure or roll-played because it was fun? Let’s tap into that spark again. You might not be interested in climbing trees again but maybe try indoor rock climbing instead. We can find a way to get in touch with play even if we have to tailor it a bit for the adult you.
One drawback of adulting is that we sometimes forget to make time to connect with our inner world. Do you take time at the end of your day to acknowledge and analyse what you have consumed (mentally and emotionally)? Do you recognise the impact of media, in all its form, on your thoughts and feelings? Currently, I am reading Think Like A Monk By Jay Shetty and he mentioned that when we do not take time to reflect on experiences, what we listen to, hear and see, unconsciously becomes part of our value system. Those in turn begin to guide our actions. In light of that, I am choosing to make take to reflect, connect with my thoughts and feelings and develop my intuition.
Leave space for nothing
In this world of technology and the various forms of media and entertainment we are surrounded by, we rarely go a moment in silence. I can imagine how overwhelmed our mind gets from constantly absorbing and responding to stimuli from the world. I think we all owe ourselves a break from time to time. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. Get up early, go outdoors and sit in silence with eyes closed or lowered for a few minutes or lock yourself in your room and tell everyone you need a few minutes. Whatever you choose, make sure to leave your devices behind or any other distractions. Sit with yourself and experience the world intentionally. You might amaze yourself and discover something great, although that is not the point of this exercise. Just simply relax, no talking, no music, no reading, no texting, just nothing.
These are the five things I
want to choose to do differently this year. Remember that words create so select them wisely: I choose to do instead of I want to do makes a difference.
Thanks Olivia for this topic idea.
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Thank you for reading this post. Good luck in your journey this year.
Kindly leave a like if you enjoyed this post and comment about your own changes for this year. Would you like a post on finding extra time in your day?
Love generously, Inspire daily, Learn constantly.