I can totally relate to this. My dislike of confrontation and putting myself out there has resulted in situations where I’m left feeling frustrated and disappointed with myself.
Especially when it comes to speaking up for what I believe in when it’s a parent than your trying to set boundaries with. I feel like it would be taken as disrespectful and I just keep my words bottled up.
It has been a struggle even with my relationship with my boyfriend. However he’s such a great person and he has played a huge role in building my self confidence and a providing a safe place for me to express my thoughts and emotions. It’s still a work in progress but there is improvement.
Boundaries are so important because it allows persons in your life to know where the lines are and the consequences of crossing those lines. Establishing boundaries allows us to navigate relationships with a clear guideline of what is acceptable and thus minimises friction and negative emotions.
Something to remember is assertion does not mean aggression. You don’t have to be rude or disrespectful. Boundaries ensures that respect and trust develops in the relationship.
Here are a few tips for setting boundaries:
- Set personal boundaries by being aware of things that make you uncomfortable or hurt your feelings and the things you value
- Communicate clearly with your partner, friend, co-worker in a respectfully tone
- Don’t make assumptions about the other persons thoughts or feelings
- Follow through immediately on consequences if boundaries are broken
- Practice your responses for when boundaries get crossed
- Respectfully restate your boundaries
- Establish a way to repair the damage
- Know when to move on, to end the relationship
Thank you for reading.