Sometimes I become so frustrated. I don’t know if the problem is that I don’t know how to communicate and express myself accurately or that the person I’m speaking to just doesn’t hear or see me. I mean really see me, my pain, my frustrations, my hurts, my love.
It’s like I’m speaking but they hear only silence or the words aren’t making any sense. Do I speak a stream of garbage? Are my words not clear? Is my pain not real. Do you even care that I sit at home crying? Waiting, always waiting to finally be heard.
Do I hide myself so well that you can’t hear the hurt in my voice, the sorrow in my lungs but still the love in my heart?
My heart beating, beating for you, caring for you, fighting for you? Are my actions not enough? Don’t they speak louder than words? Or is that just horseshit?
Am I not always there? When you’re down, in need, frustrated, in pain. Walking around with a chip on your shoulders hoping for help, needing assistance. Am I not the one there? Holding your hands, kissing your lips, listening to your pain!
Then why, why, why do you misunderstand? Telling me that I’m holding you back, chaining you down because I need you when I need!
Why does expressions explode in my face? Should I just not speak? Keep silent, hold my tongue for promises breaked.
Oh, the lil things, the lil things matter so much to me. I don’t need no grand gesture, no diamond ring or luxious gifts. Just someone to hear me, truly listen when I say.
“Baby I need you, I want to speak to you, just see your face.” Not even a minute required. A second of your time to feel your smile.
Why, why do you misunderstand? Am I not clear? Or just not dear?